private and confidential one to one help
My Journey. What Drink Did To Me, Why I Had To Stop And How.
And Why I Can Now Help You.
The Descent
My name is Steve and I am a reformed alcoholic. I began drinking at 14 and by 24 was a heavy social drinker. I left home at 26 to live on my own so also became a heavy home drinker with no barriers. Over the next two decades I spiralled into chronic alcoholism consuming over 250 units a week. By this time I was living with my partner (now my wife) and I put her through hell. I was what is known as a 'high functioning' alcoholic which means I could hold down a job, pay my bills, maintain a home, keep social bonds and appear outwardly responsible and productive.
It was all just smoke and mirrors though, masking a miserable life of heavy opportunistic drinking, deceit, hiding booze, arguments, moodswings, blackouts, poor physical and dreadful mental health displayed as anxiety, paranoia and psychosis. It all came crashing down with a serious medical emergency and me having to be 999'd to hospital. It was glaringly obvious to the doctors that I was fully alcohol dependent so after they'd dealt with the immediate emergency they detoxed me, which took days. Even at this point I was thinking I'll tell everyone that I'm going to quit, get out and get back on the drink. It still hadn't sunk in how bad things were. Then one day I was dozing, exhausted, in a chair by my hospital bed when I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder.
The Turning Point
I hazily opened my eyes and there was a consultant kneeling in front of me, his eyes level with mine. Standing behind him were eight junior doctors. They didn't move or say a word - they just listened. He said that my body was ravaged by years of alcohol abuse and that if I didn't stop drinking I would die within a year. He also said I was still relatively young, seemed an intelligent chap and that I could turn this around. He promised to send someone from DALT (Drug & Alcohol Liaison Team) to see me and they would get me the help I needed. This consultant was the first person I ever really listened to so now I was at the crossroads - stop drinking and live or carry on and die ? The lady from DALT visited me the next day and we had a constructive and very positive chat.
I spent the remainder of my time in hospital in bed staring at a crooked ceiling tile, thinking. Just thinking. After two days of going over everything I made a decision. I'm going to stop. I'm done with drinking and this ends here. I knew it was going to be hard as hell so on the way back from hospital I got my partner to stop at Threshers and I bought £38 worth of zero alcohol beer. In hospital the lady from DALT had said they would get in touch within days of me being home. But after a week, nothing. Two weeks, nothing. And nothing after three weeks. During this time, whilst I was signed off work, I stayed just about sane by endlessly doing jobs around the house and garden, always accompanied by a bottle of zero alcohol beer.
Coming Up With A Plan
It was getting harder and harder to stay on the wagon and I knew the mindtrick of fake beer would soon wear off. I'd also realised that DALT weren't going to get in touch (to this day I don't know why). I thought I'm going to have to do this on my own. And I did. I have never been to an AA meeting, I have never seen a counsellor or therapist and I have never read a self-help book. I had determined that what I needed was a plan and within that plan a rigid framework. Within the framework would be various elements all relevant to my everyday life and all of them connected. Each element would then be enacted with firm discipline. The thinking was that the whole would be greater than the sum of the parts. I took my last drink on the morning of 6th July 2014 and I assure you that was my last drink. Ever.
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Empowering Others
Some years after I got sober I saw a news item about a man who had previously been a chronic alcoholic and crack addict, but having beaten his addictions now helped others to quit drinking. My admiration for him was immense. Apart from his former additional crack habit to my mind him and me were the same - he like me had learned all he could now teach through his lived experience. He was poacher turned gamekeeper and I decided that I would follow his path. So I started manage-my-drinking.com to transform the lives of others struggling with drink. Please believe me when I say that no matter how bad things look right now, no matter how dark and desolate, we can change this. If I can do it with no help you can do it with my help. You are not alone.
My Guiding Principles When Working With Clients To Overcome Their Problem Drinking
Privacy And Confidentiality
Your free initial consultation and the sessions that follow are all conducted privately,
one to one online - there is no group work. Most people don't want to discuss or work
through their problems with an audience. Trust and openness are vital and I believe
a personal and empathetic connection enhances these virtues. Everything that passes
between us is confidential.
A Clear Direction And Plan
Your personalised action plan will accommodate all the following elements:-
* Root cause analysis * Recognition/Elimination of triggers * Combatting cravings
* Determine long term goal * Friendship audit * Improve physical wellbeing
* Defensive timetabling * Social cherry picking * Pet project * Past/future anchors
Everyone is different so no two personal action plans will be the same.
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Help That Is Affordable
Private help with problem drinking is not just for the rich and famous. The
overwhelming majority of those affected by it are everyday people just like you
and I take account of this in my fees. Your assessment and also the initial consultation,
which concentrates on the findings of your assessment, are FREE. The sessions that
follow are charged affordably.